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Tuesday, September 2, 2014

ADHD in Adulthood: To Prepare for a New Baby, I Had to Prepare My Mental Health

ADHD in Adulthood: To Prepare for a New Baby, I Had to Prepare My Mental Health


ADHD in Adulthood: To Prepare for a New Baby, I Had to Prepare My Mental Health

Posted: 02 Sep 2014 11:22 AM PDT

This fall I'm expecting the birth of my second child, a daughter. Over the past months she's grown from the size of a kumquat, to the size of a banana, and recently achieved the esteemed gradation of cabbage. From what I can tell the final step is cantaloupe—and then, having triumphed through the full prenatal catalog of produce, Sylvia Denevi, the newest member of our family, will be here.

For now the focus is on preparation. My wife and I live in a suburb of Washington, D.C., with our seven-year-old son, Jack. Together we've begun to make the expected adjustments. The guest room is now a nursery. The garage has been searched and reorganized, its assortment of baby gear emerging again like relics from a previous life.

I see my preparation for Sylvia's arrival as love: the first opportunity I have to tell her I love her, that she's precious to me, that I'll do whatever it takes to be the best father I can be. I've also been taking the steps to prepare myself, within the context of mental health, for the change that's about to come.

Growing up in the 1980s and 90s, I was part of the first generation of Americans to be diagnosed with Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder. There was never really a question of whether or not I had ADHD, and after years of being the most active, over-sensitive, and impulsive person in the room—after a childhood of psychiatric and psychological treatments, some of which helped, others making things worse—I graduated from college and entered the workforce, at which point my personality no longer seemed as exaggerated and out-of-whack as it had once been. In the end I figured that whatever ADHD was, it was a part of the past.

That understanding changed when Jack was born. At the time I was 27. All at once I found myself surrounded by an enormous amount of conflict—the same kind I used to experience, growing up, when my behavior would drive the people around me crazy. It was uncanny: my wife would say something, and I'd overreact, and she'd say something else, and then I'd be shouting, and glaring, and shouting again. We argued constantly over the new demands: diaper changes, midnight feedings, who got to take a midday nap and who had to do the grocery shopping. Soon enough our lives began to resemble a ledger. I did this and you didn't do that. My time is just as important than yours! You want to go to the gym for an hour but I can't play softball tomorrow night? Instead of finding a way to share the new amount of work that was required of us, we spent hours fighting.

My wife is a scientist, thoughtful and logical, traits that have always fit well with my more energetic demeanor, and up until Jack was born our relationship was steady. But now it seemed as if our personalities had switched; at the end the day she'd be yelling at me and I'd turn sullen and depressed.

I felt overwhelmed. Like I couldn't do the simplest things. It was as if I was underwater, gazing up toward a normal reality—one in which every other new parent seemed to deal well enough—while I was the abnormal one, a failure, once again a problem for the people who loved me. It was the most distant I'd felt from my wife since we'd been together.

"You've never been like this," she told me. And while there were other variables involved—we'd moved across the country right after Jack was born, were at precarious points in our careers, and didn't have extended family around to help—it was clear that if I didn't act soon I'd run the risk of damaging my relationship with my family in a way that couldn't easily be undone.

Eventually I went to see my family doctor, and then a psychiatrist. When I explained my moodiness and agitation they said the same thing: ADHD, even in adulthood, tends to make you much more sensitive than other people to your surrounding environment. If you're constantly feeling restless and impulsive, you might react to demands in a disproportionate way—and there are few things more destabilizing than the birth of a child.

There wasn't one thing I could do to magically make things better, they told me—that's not how mental illness works. Instead, they recommended a series of steps. For the first time I started exercising regularly; I paid careful attention to my sleeping and eating habits; I even went on a low dosage of Adderall, which helped to make everything seem less drastic and overwhelming.

Eventually things improved, but not right away. It was a genuinely hard stretch for my wife and I—part of the reason, no doubt, we've waited a while to have another baby. But now, seven years later, as the summer turns to fall and Sylvia continues in her ascension through an aisle at the grocery store, we can take solace in the fact that we both have a much better idea of the changes to expect.

Soon enough we'll find ourselves short on sleep. And time. And stamina. I'll be less resilient in terms of mood and patience. In anticipation I've been trying to make the necessary preparations.

I started psychotherapy, visiting a psychologist regularly both by myself and with my wife. I've set up my exercise schedule with an emphasis on cardiovascular activities like running and tennis, the most beneficial to mental health. I'm trying to cut down on social events and alcohol—two things I very much enjoy. And I find myself making observations about my own sleeping and eating that are usually directed at seven-year-olds: Do you really think it's a smart decision to start another television show this close to bedtime? If you're sweating and your stomach already hurts, maybe that fifth piece of pizza isn't the best decision…

I've also talked with my psychiatrist about the possibility of making a medication adjustment. (I hate being on medication anyway, and prefer to take as low as dose as possible.) The Adderall I'm on is the instant-release kind; my current approach is to take it ahead of time when I know I'm about to find myself in situations that are especially overwhelming or agitating—a birthday party for one of Jack's friends at Chuck E. Cheese; driving through an unfamiliar snarl of D.C. traffic—but what happens when the foresight necessary for such an approach is already eroded by a lack of sleep and/or a screaming infant? I can try a time-release version, or a new medication.

One of the most difficult aspects of mental illness, especially within the context of parenthood, is finding a way, when it comes to your life and its influence on the people you love, to do more good than harm. In the end you can't possibly predict what's really coming: the moment in the future that will dislodge you from the balance you've worked so hard to achieve. It might be a random calamity, or one you've personally brought about. But the incredible truth is that it's already on the way. And against such a prospect, what good can something like a therapist or exercise or a low-dosage pyschostimulant actually do?

This isn't to dismiss the idea of effort. In fact it's the opposite: imagining all the things that could go wrong or right for my family, I can't help but find solace in action. I'm lucky that there are steps I can take, and that often enough they do tend to help. What matters is the act itself: an expression of love for the most important people in my life. After all, there are many ways to show how you feel; is it so terrible that one of mine happens to take the form of self-preparedness?

A few weeks ago, when Jack was looking through the toys in his closet and trying to guess which, if any, his future sister might enjoy, he turned to me and said, "Daddy, I have a question."

I could tell by the line of his mouth that it was something he'd been considering for a while. "Yeah?"

"What do you think Sylvia will be like?"

Briefly the image of a pumpkin with very long eyelashes flashed into my mind, but in the next instant was something outside the parameters of size and shape: an emotion similar enough to anticipation. "A little like you," I said. "And like Mommy. A little like me, too, I think."

He nodded.

"That's the exciting part," I added. "Whoever she's going to be, she'll be herself."

Hyper, by Timothy Denevi Courtesy Simon & Schuster

Timothy Denevi is the author of Hyper: A Personal History of ADHD, out this week from Simon & Schuster. He received his MFA in nonfiction from the University of Iowa. He lives near Washington, DC and teaches in the MFA program at George Mason University, where he's a visiting writer.

How Ebola Might Cause a Food Shortage in West Africa

Posted: 02 Sep 2014 11:18 AM PDT

DAKAR, Senegal — Food in countries hit by Ebola is getting more expensive and will become scarcer because many farmers won’t be able to go to their fields, a U.N. food agency warned Tuesday.

The current Ebola outbreak in West Africa has killed more than 1,500 people and authorities have cordoned off entire towns in an effort to halt the virus’ spread. Surrounding countries have closed land borders, many airlines have suspended flights to and from the affected countries and seaports are seeing less traffic, restricting food imports to the hardest-hit countries. Those countries — Guinea, Liberia and Sierra Leone — all rely on grain from abroad to feed their people, according to the U.N. Food and Agriculture Organization.

The price of cassava root, a staple in many West African diets, has gone up 150 percent in one market in Liberia’s capital, Monrovia.

“Even prior to the Ebola outbreak, households in some of the affected areas were spending up to 80 percent of their incomes on food,” said Vincent Martin, who is coordinating the agency’s response to the crisis. “Now these latest price spikes are effectively putting food completely out of their reach.”

An estimated 1.3 million people in Guinea, Liberia and Sierra Leone will need help feeding themselves in coming months, said the U.N.

The situation looks likely to worsen because restrictions on movement are preventing laborers from getting to farms and the harvest of rice and corn is set to begin in a few weeks, the FAO said.

The World Health Organization is asking countries to lift border closures because they are preventing supplies from reaching people in desperate need. Ivory Coast decided Monday night to keep its borders with Guinea and Liberia closed but said it would open a humanitarian corridor to allow supplies in.

The world’s worst-ever Ebola outbreak has killed more than 1,500 people in Guinea, Liberia, Sierra Leone and Nigeria.

A separate Ebola outbreak has hit a remote part of Congo, in Central Africa, the traditional home of the disease. So far, 53 cases consistent with Ebola have been identified there of whom 31 have died, WHO said Tuesday.

Here’s Why Scientists Are Tripping Elderly People on Purpose

Posted: 02 Sep 2014 11:13 AM PDT

At the University of Illinois at Chicago, researchers are tripping senior citizens on purpose. But it isn’t a horrible prank.

The elderly people are part of a new study, strapped into safety gear and motion sensors while walking on a treadmill that occasionally skips, training them to avoid falling, the Associated Press reports.

While conventional fall prevention methods include improving muscle strength, balance and flexibility, the new study focuses on building subconscious learning, Clive Pai, a physical therapy professor who is leading the research, told the AP. Pai’s method has been shown to reduce the chance of falling by 50% up to a year later.

Each year, treating falls in the elderly can cost up to $30 billion to treat, according to the CDC.

These Budget Smartphones Sold Out in India in 4.2 Seconds

Posted: 02 Sep 2014 10:57 AM PDT

Online sales of budget smartphone maker Xiaomi’s new Android phone were gone in India before many even had a chance to click.

Known as “China’s Apple,” Xiaomi sold all 40,000 units of its low-cost Redmi 1S within 4.2 seconds on Flipkart, an online marketplace that does business exclusively in India, according to Hugo Barra, Vice President of Xiaomi Global.

Those unable to swipe one of the phones took to Xiaomi India’s Facebook Page or Twitter to vent their frustration, criticizing the Chinese firm for entering one of the world’s largest markets with limited supply. A previous flash sale of Xiaomi’s Mi 3 phone was met with similar success—and annoyance—when 20,000 devices sold out in 2.4 seconds, according to NDTV. Registrations have already kicked off for another round of online Redmi 1S sales.

In India, Xiaomi is attempting to replicate the success it achieved in China. Only three years old, Xiaomi has become explosively popular in its home country thanks to its affordable pricing and personalized design, recently outnumbering shipments of phones compared to its biggest competitor, Samsung. While Samsung claims the largest market share in India’s smartphone market, Xiaomi is attempting to stake a place with its low-priced smartphones: the Redmi 1S, priced at Rs 5,999 ($100), remains equally affordable as, if not moreso than, Samsung devices like the popular Galaxy smartphones, which tend to retail well over Rs 5,999 in India.

But Xiaomi has a long road ahead if it wants India to be its next China. Only less than 1% of Xiaomi’s global smartphone units were shipped outside China during Q2 2014, according to tech intelligence firm Canalys. And a formidable competitor is approaching, too: Google has set a Sept. 15 event in India, which many expect will mark the Indian launch of a cheap Android One, according to NDTV.

 

Joan Rivers Remains on Life Support, Daughter Confirms

Posted: 02 Sep 2014 10:55 AM PDT

Joan Rivers remains on life support, her daughter confirmed Tuesday, after the iconic comedian suffered from respiratory and cardiac arrest during routine surgery last week.

Melissa Rivers addressed rumors about her mother’s health in a public statement Tuesday, saying, “at this time she does remain on life support.” The statement undercut recent reports from sources close to the family that Rivers, 81, might be recovering from a medically-induced coma.

“I know my mother would be overwhelmed by the continued outpouring of kindness and I want to thank everyone for keeping us in their prayers,” Melissa Rivers added.

Rivers was rushed to Mount Sinai Hospital in New York last Thursday and was listed in “serious” condition after she stopped breathing during a minor surgical procedure on her vocal chords.

Here’s How Celebs Can Get Their Nude Selfies Taken Down

Posted: 02 Sep 2014 10:49 AM PDT

Imagine having nude images of yourself — images you believed to be private — shared against your will with millions of people around the Internet. It’s a pretty terrible feeling, and it’s exactly what happened to dozens of celebrities, from Jennifer Lawrence to Kirstin Dunst, who fell victim to a hacker who accessed their private cloud storage accounts and raided their contents.

Some of the celebrities, like Lawrence, have pledged to go after whoever’s responsible for the privacy violation. While the hacker remains unidentified, the victims have at least one weapon to try and stop the images from spreading any further: Copyright law.

Here’s how that could work: In the United States, copyrights on photos are granted to whomever took the image. Since so many of the stolen images are reportedly selfies, that means the women in the images took the photos themselves — and, therefore, they get the copyright on them.

Some background: In 1998, Congress passed the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, or DMCA, which toughened penalties for online copyright violators. Crucially, the DMCA introduced what’s called a “Safe Harbor” provision for online platforms, like Facebook, YouTube, Reddit and others (though they weren’t around at the time). The Safe Harbor deal is this: Sites like YouTube don’t need to pre-check the content their users upload for copyright violations, but they do have to respond to what’s called a takedown notice. Copyright holders can file those notices to websites they believe are illegally hosting their copyrighted content, and the Facebooks, YouTubes and Reddits of the world then have to go and see if the copyright holder’s claim is legit — and if it is, they have to ditch the content.

Takedown notices have gotten increasingly popular over the last four years; people are now filing millions more to Google alone compared to just a few years ago, for example. Such notices are “very effective,” said Aram Sinnreich, an assistant professor at Rutgers University's School of Communication and Information, “because otherwise the sites can be found as contributorily liable to copyright infringement, and that can run into the millions of dollars.”

So what Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton, Kirsten Dunst or any of the other hacking victims could do is file a DMCA takedown notice while they fill out the paperwork for a formal copyright on their photos, assuming they took the images of themselves. If their takedown notices are ignored, they can then sue the sites in question for copyright violation.

Such a move could be a “smart strategy,” said Danielle Citron, a professor of law at the University of Maryland who’s working on a book about online hate crimes. But fighting this fire through DMCA is akin to playing digital whack-a-mole: Knock the images off one site that was hosting them, and they’ll appear on another. “[The victims] might be outpaced by the scale at which this stuff spreads,” Citron added.

DMCA takedowns have other weaknesses, too: Sites hosted in countries with less stringent copyright laws won’t feel the same pressure to respond to them, Sinnreich said. So the celebrities probably won’t have any luck getting their private images off websites hosted in Cambodia, for example, a country that’s not party to the international treaty on which the DMCA is based. And the copyright strategy won’t work for the women who didn’t take the photos and can’t get the copyright from whoever did.

Still, Citron believes the incident is an opportunity to raise awareness about women having their private images spread widely around the Internet against their will, which happens daily but doesn’t always grab headlines.

“This is the perfect example of a case in which we should grab the public’s attention,” said Citron. “I’ve been writing about this since 2007. And nude photos are just one form of online harassment, and everyone just kind of shrugs their shoulders and blame the victims, ‘you stupidly shared it,’ or ‘you got hacked,’ or ‘you shouldn’t have been taking these photos in the first place.’ And now the cultural consensus is . . . we’re not shrugging our shoulders, and we think this is a really bad thing. So I think this is a terrific moment in which we’re getting people to really see the problem for what it is.”

Another American Doctor Infected With Ebola, Charity Says

Posted: 02 Sep 2014 10:30 AM PDT

Another American missionary doctor has tested positive for Ebola, an aid group said Tuesday.

SIM USA said the doctor, who was not named, was treating obstetric patients at ELWA hospital in Monrovia and had not treated Ebola patients in the hospital's isolation unit, which is separate from the main hospital. The charity said it was not yet known how the doctor was infected, but he immediately isolated himself when he showed symptoms.

The new case comes two weeks after Dr. Kent Brantly and his colleague Nancy Writebol, who worked for SIM, walked out of an Atlanta hospital virus-free after being infected and evacuated from Liberia…

Read the rest of the story from our partners at NBC News

Destiny Launch Guide: 16 Facts to Get You Ready for the Game

Posted: 02 Sep 2014 10:30 AM PDT

If Bungie’s Destiny demos and beta are representative of the final game, then Halo may have spawned a new sub-genre. Call it “Halo-like.”

And Destiny seems like a card-carrying subscriber. A few months ago at E3 when I asked Bungie COO Pete Parsons why Destiny felt so much like playing Halo, I expected him to challenge the premise. Instead, he surprised me by embracing it.

While Destiny is clearly its own game with divergent gameplay ideas, Parsons spoke of a Bungie DNA that flows through all of its games (back to the company’s Mac-exclusive Marathon days, in fact). If you played the Destiny beta and you’re familiar with Halo‘s conventions, those strands — coiling through the game’s control scheme and user interface — are pretty much unmissable.

So is the game itself, if you’re paying even casual attention to the mega-marketing campaign. Over the weekend, running FXX’s The Simpsons as background noise in a vacation hotel room, the lofty-sounding Destiny trailer seemed to crop up every other commercial break. Publisher Activision, doubtless hoping Destiny has even longer legs than Halo, is clearly sparing the game no expense.

Here’s a rundown of everything (salient) that we know about the game in the run-up to its worldwide launch next week.

What is Destiny?

For the uninitiated: a first-person shooter that’s neither a single-player adventure nor a massively multiplayer online game, though it combines elements of both.

Imagine, to use Bungie’s terminology, a science fiction universe that’s “alive,” and which you can access while playing alone or with drop-in multiplayer companions. By “alive,” Bungie intends the game to be open-ended enough that unplanned events may occur, though whether that means the final version apes Guild Wars 2‘s player-driven events model, or something we’ve not yet seen, is still unclear.

Plot-wise, the game takes place several hundred years from now in a post-utopian period, after an event that leads to the near-extinction of humanity. You play as one of an elite group of “Guardians,” a band of super-soldier warriors, defending humanity from various hostile alien races.

When will it be available?

September 9 for PlayStation 3 and 4 as well as the Xbox One and Xbox 360.

Is there a launch trailer?

Of course:

There’s also a competitive multiplayer trailer, an “E3 Gameplay Experience” trailer and a bunch of locale-specific trailers that highlight the game’s various planetary battlegrounds.

How many versions are there?

The standard version is $60, whether you’re grabbing the retail or digital version, though GameStop’s offering in-game exclusives like an upgrade for the Sparrow (think Return of the Jedi‘s speeder bikes) if you order through them. And if you preorder the standard retail edition (by 2:00 p.m. PT on September 5) through the Microsoft Store, Microsoft will send along a $10 Xbox gift card and ensure your copy arrives by September 9.

Let’s step through the special editions, from most expensive to least.

  • If you’re in the market for a PlayStation 4, Sony’s selling a white PS4 bundled with the game and various PlayStation-exclusive in-game bonuses for $450.
  • On the retail side, Microsoft’s selling a Destiny “Ghost Edition” with the usual trinkets and geegaws for $150.
  • The “Limited Edition” for both the PS4 and Xbox One as well as the Xbox 360 (but not the PS3) includes upgraded packaging, a guide, a star chart and a few in-game items for $100.
  • On the digital end, the “Guardian Edition” for both PS4 and Xbox One as well as PS3 (but not the Xbox 360) includes a slew of in-game starter content.

The special editions each include the “Destiny Expansion Pass,” which goes for $35 by itself and unlocks “new story missions, cooperative and competitive multiplayer arenas, and a wealth of all new weapons, armor, and gear to earn,” as well as the game’s first two expansion packs: “Destiny Expansion I: The Dark Below” and “Destiny Expansion II: House of Wolves.”

What’s this I’ve seen about mobile versions?

Bungie’s released free companion apps for iOS and Android that let you keep tabs on your Guardian, analyze your stats, compare your scores and access the game’s forums.

Will the PlayStation 4 and Xbox One versions both run at 1080p?

Yes. The beta Xbox One version ran at a slightly lower resolution, but the ship-time PS4 and Xbox One versions will share the same 1920-by-1080 resolution. (If you want to quibble over subtle differences in frame rates or screen tearing or rendering techniques, you’ll have to wait for the inexorable Digital Foundry breakdown.)

Are the PlayStation versions really getting exclusive content?

Yes: a cooperative mission, a multiplayer map, class-specific gear, two weapons and three ships. You’ll find all the details here.

Can I preload the game?

If you buy the digital version, yes. The game is available for preload on PlayStation and Xbox stores now. If you preload, you’ll be able to play as soon as the servers go live on September 9.

When specifically on September 9 do the servers go live?

This one’s a little confusing. Here’s Bungie’s official word on the matter via Twitter:

Assuming no launch snafus (and to be fair, that’s a bold assumption), the game’s servers should be accessible in the United States as early as 8 a.m. ET on September 8. That’s no typo: according to that tweet, Destiny, according to the temporal logistics of the International Date Line (which passes through the Pacific Ocean), should be playable in the U.S. by early Monday, September 8.

That’s assuming you have a playable copy of the game, of course. It sounds like you’ll need a retail copy for the privilege: Both Sony and Microsoft list their respective digital versions of Destiny as being playable “starting midnight PST,” or at 3:01 a.m. ET on September 9.

How do you secure a retail copy prior to your local retailer’s midnight launch party on September 9 (in whatever time zone you live)? You’ll have to make your own inquiries: As Bungie says, it’s “between you and your retailer.”

How much disk space will Destiny take up?

The digital versions for PS4 and Xbox One list the game’s footprint as 18.6GB and 18GB, respectively, but that’s just the preload size. After unpacking and the game pulling down any additional launch timeframe data, the game’s footprint will be much larger.

On Sony’s official storefront for the game, it writes “40 GB hard drive storage (or its equivalent) is required.” That’s apparently the case for the Xbox One version, too, assuming this photo of the game’s retail packaging is authentic.

Will the PlayStation and Xbox versions be cross-platform playable?

Nope, nor will PS3 players be able to play with PS4 ones, or Xbox One players with Xbox 360 ones. Each platform is a universe unto itself.

Do I have to pay a monthly fee?

Not to Bungie, no, but after you’ve purchased the game, it requires Xbox Live ($60 a year) to play either of the Xbox versions. And while you can play parts of the PlayStation versions without a $50 PlayStation Plus subscription, the latter is required for “some activities” (certain game modes, though it’s not clear at this point which ones).

Can I play it offline?

No. While Destiny includes the option to play solo, it requires an Internet connection.

What about local split-screen?

I get this question from a surprising number of people about all sorts of online games: but no, alas, local split-screen isn’t supported.

Will there be a PC version?

Bungie co-founder Jason Jones may or may not have said no way back in early 2013, but design lead Lars Bakken told Eurogamer earlier this year that designing a PC version would be “pretty complicated,” but that it “doesn’t mean it can’t happen in the future, it just means it won’t happen right now.”

So not yet, but maybe.

Is there anything else I should know?

Bungie just announced something called “Destiny Planet View,” which uses Google technology to let you poke around the game-verse’s versions of Mars, Venus and the Moon right now.

Says Bungie:

While the experience only reveals a small slice of Destiny’s massive worlds, users will be able to step through each area and discover useful lore, gameplay tips and even a few hidden real-world and in-game incentives along the way.

And here’s the “Destiny Planet View” trailer:

An Ode to the Random College Roommate

Posted: 02 Sep 2014 10:28 AM PDT

I met my best friends in the world on Craigslist. I also lived with a bulimic, a woman who taped “Bush/Cheney 2000″ posters all over our dorm room, and one who communicated only through passive aggressive Post-It notes on the house refrigerator.

There was the roommate whose bedroom didn’t have a door — only a curtain — and whose boyfriend I saw naked more times than my own. Then there were the two best friends who happily welcomed me in, sweet as pie, only for me to discover I’d signed a yearlong lease to become the buffer in their roommate feud. Roommate A had taken all of the kitchen supplies — pots, pans, silverware, dishes — and locked them, with a padlock, inside her bedroom. (Maybe that’s why I still don’t cook.)

For decades, the random college roommate has been a right of passage. Every year around this time, hoards of students show up to dorm rooms across the country, racing — with parents in tow — to claim the side of the room with the window. But in the age of social media, the randomness of that experience has been all but erased. As Rolling Stone reported last month, today's college students are using apps to find harmonious bunk matches. RoomSync, a Facebook app reportedly used at more than 60 campuses, crunches data based on questionnaire responses to suggest a roster of choices. The unthinkable has finally happened: college students are suddenly able to avoid the awkwardness of getting thrown together with the last person they'd ever choose as a companion.

And yet, as Stephanie Wu, the author of a new collection of essays called The Roommates puts it, "There's something to be said about being squeezed into very small quarters for a long period of time.” There are lessons learned — about love, rivalry and friendship. You learn to negotiate. You learn to move your own boundaries. And for every horror story, there is a tale of best friends and overcoming odds.

I asked my senior year college roommates — still some of my best friends — to help me come up with a list of things we all learned from the old way of doing things. Here are our top 10:

1. How to Stage An Intervention

Going through a bottle of mustard in a single day just isn’t OK, OK? Even if you really love the taste.

2. Clothes Exist for a Reason

No, really. Can you tell your boyfriend to put some on?

3. Sharing Closets Only Works When Both of You Have Equally Great Wardrobes

Borrowing each other's clothes is best left to Sweet Valley High.

4. Teamwork Is Necessary

Specifically, when you must remove a screaming mouse trapped inside the coils of your oven with your bare hands.

5. The Bathroom and Its Mysteries

There will always be hair in the tub and yet it will belong to no one. The layers of soap scum will eventually come to resemble the faces of roommates past. Your most important heart-to-hearts will end up taking place across the six inches between the toilet and the shower.

6. Patience Is a Virtue

You know the roommate who always swears she'll be ready in "just 15 minutes"? Get ready to uncork some Yellow Tail and wait.

7. Binge-Watching Should be Offered for Credit

There's nothing like a pleather a pleather couch, a box of Wheat Thins and animated feminist discourse over Carrie's relationship with Mr. Big.

8. It’s Possible to Know More About Your Roommates' Intimate Parts Than What's Going on in the World

Periods, sex partners, STD results: the dorm room as OB-GYN office.

9. Your Friends Will Always Be There to Listen (Because they Have to Be)

An unwritten rule of room-sharing is that I get to crawl into your bed after an epically disastrous night and have you help me relive the gory details.

10. It Can Always Be Worse

Even when your patience is strained beyond what you thought possible, just be thankful you're not living with that roommate down the hall. Need a reminder? Just take a flip through Wu's "The Roommates." From mental disorders to harassment to cleaning up sewage, there's always a roommate story worse than your own.

Bennett is a contributing columnist at TIME.com covering the intersection of gender, sexuality, business and pop culture. A formerNewsweek senior writer and executive editor of Tumblr, she is a contributing editor for Sheryl Sandberg's women's foundation, Lean In. You can follow her @jess7bennett.

Window to Stop Ebola Outbreak Is ‘Closing Quickly,’ Official Warns

Posted: 02 Sep 2014 10:27 AM PDT

The window of opportunity to stop the Ebola outbreak in West Africa is “closing quickly,” a top health official said Tuesday.

“The number of cases is so large, the epidemic is so overwhelming and it requires an overwhelming response,” Tom Frieden, the director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), told reporters Tuesday after returning to the U.S. Monday from a trip to the affected counties.

Despite the efforts of health workers from the affected countries and elsewhere, cases of Ebola will continue to increase, Frieden said. Moments after his remarks, an aid group announced that another American doctor fighting the outbreak in Liberia has been infected.

Groups like Doctors Without Borders that are treating patients are overwhelmed by the high number of cases, and have had to turn away infected people due to lack of space. Frieden said he saw patients lying on the ground in some West Africa clinics. He stressed that Ebola is a global problem, and that closing off affected countries like Guinea, Liberia and Sierra Leone—many airlines have stopped flying there—will only worsen the outbreak by cutting off access to needed supplies.

“Getting supplies and people in is a big challenge,” Frieden said. “The more the world isolates and stops contact with these countries, the harder it will be to stop the outbreak.”

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